"Nancy's" Eulogy  

given by: Julie Murtha

 

We’re here today to celebrate the life of a very special friend, a young woman I met in grade 10 geography class.

The summer following grade 10, Nancy and I attended a month-long outdoor education course in Kearny and that is where we truly began a friendship that lasted for twenty years.  Despite attending different universities, living in separate cities and building different lives, the friendship that Chantale, Christie, Nancy and I established when we were 15 has always been true. 

My early impression of Nancy was that she was very outdoorsy - ok, in truth we probably called her a tree-hugger.  And, Nancy would agree and be proud of that label.  She loved camping and canoeing, portaging, kayaking, skiing - you name it, she was good at it.  And, she was tough.  She could easily haul a canoe above her head, carry the heaviest pack and pee in the scariest spots.  This is how she earned the nickname Wilderness Woman. 

Nancy introduced Christie, Chantale and me to the world of canoe tripping.  And, despite Mrs. Warren’s persistent questions about whether we drank and did drugs on these trips, I can honestly say that the thought never even occurred to us. 

In truth, we canoed and camped with Nancy to be like Nancy - to be strong, independent young women.  We could paddle through bad weather, bad bugs, bad food and it gave us a sense of confidence.  Nancy gained confidence from leading our little troop.  And oh the fun we had along the way.  Returning from these trips cold, wet, tired and smelly we knew that we had accomplished something - we were tough.  In truth, I think that Nancy likely accommodated us - letting us be ourselves.  When we wanted to stop in order to tan ourselves in preparation for our upcoming formal, she would oblige.  When Christie wouldn’t put on her rainpants for fear of a spider, Nancy would take care of it.  All the time respecting our differences with patience and good humour. 

Nancy had a tremendous sense of adventure.  She was very carefree with a conviction that everything would work out fine.  She was never afraid of a challenge.  After highschool, Nancy and I went to Thunder Bay for a month-long Outward Bound program.  In addition to hiking and canoeing we knew that we would be doing some rock climbing.  In what we, in our 18-year old minds believed to be preparation, we went to some cliffs near the Warren’s home, tied a rope around a big tree and proceeded to imitate what we believed to be repelling.  With rope-burned hands, we decided that we would wait for proper training. 

A year later, with not much more wisdom apparently, on an early spring canoe trip, we encountered water that was high and fast through a narrow mouth.  Not wanting to tackle the rapids and risk soaking our packs, and with no portage around the rapids, we decided to walk the canoe through the water.  Not only did we find ourselves fighting to stay upright in the strong current, we discovered that the ice was not completely out.  When I think of our great adventures, I am amazed by our carefree attitude – perhaps it was just stupidity.

One spring day after Nancy learned to drive we decided that we would take the kayaks out on the Rouge River.  We weren’t going very far so I guess that we weren’t too concerned about how well we tied the knots.  No sooner did we get onto Lawrence Avenue with lead-footed Nancy at the wheel, than we lost a kayak off the roof.  Oh, it was still attached by the rope alright, but we were dragging it along behind us!  The biggest problem from there was getting it tied back on when we were laughing so hard.

 But, Nancy was unflappable.  Nothing seemed to faze her.  She had a firm conviction that things would work out just fine.  A couple of years back (just a few), Nancy planned a 50^th birthday party for her Dad.  It was to be an outdoor picnic for family and friends.  Arriving in the morning to help, Nancy did not look or act like she was expecting 30 or 40 people.  She said, “ok here’s the mushrooms, here’s the recipe - stuff them with something.”  My biggest concern was poisoning the guests with some kind of mayonnaise salad.  Nancy did not have a concern; she knew that it would be find and of course it always was.

 During the winter months, Nancy’s time was devoted to Christmas and Variety shows at school.  She was a born organizer and the job of stage manager suited her perfectly.  With a clipboard, a pen and an ounce of authority, she was a force to be reckoned with.

 Throughout our highschool years Nancy almost always drove.  In fact, recently we told Nancy’s Dad that we didn’t really like her - we were just using her for the van.  She carted us around from movies to almost daily lunches at McDonalds to the Scarborough Town Centre and The Keg.  No matter what, Nancy always seemed able to get the family vehicle.  Am I wrong to think that she ruled the roost?  And of course, she always drove when we went on canoe trips.  To this day I do not know another woman who can back up a trailer without jack-knifing it.

 When we drove up Hwy. 69 at Bala, Nancy would insist, and I mean insist that we get ready - “ok, are you ready? Here it comes!” and she would belt out the tune Moon River at the top of her lungs as we crossed Moon River.

 On one of our many trips to McDonalds for lunch, as Nancy was pulling out of the parking lot Christie said “Hey Nanc, do you like Cindy Lauper?”  Nancy thought for a moment and then said, “What grade it she in?”  Nancy was interested in, what Nancy was interested in.

 Many times Nancy would pick us up for an evening out.  She would be driving this enormous van, racing down Lawrence Avenue, putting on make-up, with her curling iron plugged into the cigarette lighter.  I have since discovered that this skill was learned from her Mom - I guess her Dad didn’t need the curling iron.

 In 1995 Nancy honoured Chantale and me by asking us to be bridesmaids at her wedding to John.  This, of course was a chance for her true organizational skills to shine through.  That meant putting us to work once again.

 When Chantale and I arrived at her house the day before the wedding, Nancy brought us inside, ushered us into the basement where she pointed at 150 chocolate Volkswagen Bugs.  “These are the gifts for the guests to take.  I want you to put the Bugs in the boxes like so - tie one ribbon this way - cross with the second ribbon and then curl the ribbon.  Got it?  That’s your first job.  I’m going upstairs ( with the implied instruction - don’t come up until you’re done)”.  And, as a last minute thought, “Oh, by the way, you want a Diet Coke?”